--It promotes peace within the black community.  Except when new Air Jordans come out.  

--It honors African-American pioneers in sports, like Jackie Robinson in baseball, Gale Sayers in football, and every person who ever played basketball . . . in basketball.  

--To boost its popularity, it's now referred to as Tyler Perry's Black History Month. 

--Celebrating it makes Al Roker so excited he craps his pants.  

--It honors great figures in African American history like Martin Luther King Jr., Sojourner Truth and DJ Jazzy Jeff.  

--Half of President Obama celebrates it.  

--Nobody knows how Quentin Tarantino got the idea that he has a "pass." 

--To Tiger Woods, this is just February.  

--in 1950, Earl Lloyd became the first African American to play in the NBA.  But tragically, since that day, no black man has had any success on the basketball court, ever.  

--When George Washington Carver was doing his groundbreaking work with peanuts, he prayed that rich white moms would one day spend every waking second complaining about their kids' allergies.  

--Jackie Robinson was not only the first African American to play Major League Baseball . . . he was also the last player who didn't use steroids.  

--President George W. Bush doesn't care about Black History Month.